Inertia Of My Head~

It's An All Ordinary Blog, but Extraordinarily Ordinary. Because this is where my feelings and thoughts flow free. Nothing's a secret here. :)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Cherish.

Hello. It's a gloomy day isn't it? Considering the scorching sunlight we had for the past month. It's been raining for almost the whole week and all at a too exact timing of a time. It's been a hell of a week. And yeah, it's really hell for some people out there.

Well, as we've all known from source or another, there's been a death. Somewhere, somehow, it's connected to the students of SMK Seafield. Well, coz there has been a death, a passing of a soul from the school. Weirdly, something like this gets to the hearts of people. Including me. I personally am oblivious to who the person was but somehow, I felt a deep sadness somewhere in my heart. Hmm, even a death of someone I don't know has struck me so. I dare not imagine how it would be if someone close to me passes away. It would be devastating, and I'm sure family members of the person mentioned above are currently going through devastation.

Then, when I thought it all ends there with one passing, today, comes another. It's awe-striking really. The grief of the passing of someone is yet to be over and here comes another. Who's the second person? I prefer not to disclose it here, in respect of both the family members and also the deceased. Now, in total, two passings in a week. What's the deal really? Hm, I guess god has plans for them. But it's a pity. A great one. They both, in my opinion, should've had more time in the world. One barely crossing between teenage years, the other barely in middle age.

When you thought it should really really end there, another accident happens. It happened to someone I knew. Not for too long, but we do know each other. Today, he fell. He fell a horrible stumble. He hit his spine. The last thing I heard, he can't feel his legs now. He was crying through out the whole ordeal. It was that painful. To make it worse, he was saying that he planned to play basketball that afternoon.....and all the daily routines he did everyday. Now he faces a fact that might come true. The fact that he might not be able to use his legs again. It's really scary if you think of it. And I just saw him move around the other day, with his own strength. If his spine remains the way it is, he won't even be able to use his legs.

That is why, I dedicate this post to those somehow connected to the deceased, and to my friend there. I offer my heartfelt condolences to those who have lost their loved ones and I stress to you that, please, stay strong. And to my friend, I pray for your welfare. I hope that I'll be able to see you walk again.

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After all that have happened, I realized that the human soul is indeed, a fragile thing. We won't know what tomorrow brings today. It's all a dangerous game out there, where you don't know when you'll lose. And when you do, it's all over. And that, had made me think, and I hope that you will too. It made me realize that, we should really really really cherish what we have and live our lives to the very max. Who you love, like, or despise, just tell them. Because, you might not be able to.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to say to a few people that I do indeed love them. In a way or another. Aside from my family, who appears first does not show I love that person the most. I'm just thinkin them up in random. So, don't think naughty thoughts:-

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-Mummy & Daddy.

-My Big Bro & Annoying Little Bro.
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-Anne-Marie.

-Brenda.

-Viknesh.

-Su Yi.

-Yen-Theng.

-Hee Zhern.

-Jia Jun, Mah.

-Meng Chauw.

-Jia Jun, Chong.

-Shiang Leit.

-Murid-Murid 1, 2, 3J.

-Main Board 06/07.

-Asst. Board 06/07.

-Interact Members. [some.]

-Teachers of SMK Seafield. [some.]

-All family and friends that knows me, loves me, or hates me. I love you too. =)

There you go. As mo liu as it is. There. I love you people. Let nothing happen to you all. And may we all live happily ever after.

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Out.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A Thought~[Continued]

It would do you good if you read the previous post first. Arigato~ =)

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The day is today. He went to school in the morning and it was freezing cold. It had rained the previous day. Such irony, that the weather actually tells the way he feels right now. He was going to ask her that question. He was going to know the truth. After so long, does she really even still love him? Has it been all an act of charity, those phone calls, those time they spent as friends. Did this story end 3 years ago with that phone call? Did she really think Jake as a brother? Was it all a big lie? Was this just another heartbreak........5 years after their confession, from childhood to teenager. He finds out today.

Jake walks the hallway and settles his bag on the pavement. The day before, he has already asked her to meet him beside the cherry tree, their favourite spot. He walks, with his hands clenched in his pockets and then he sees her. Her hair flows like the river in the morning wind. He took a deep breath and walked toward the cherry tree. He was ready for the truth.


"Hey."

"Morning, Jake."

"Morning. Fine morning ain't it? Erm, take a seat Jas. It's uncomfortable standing. This can take quite a while"

"Okay...."

They settled on the bench beside each other, avoiding eye contact.

"So, Jake, what's this about? Something important?"

"Urm....yeah. Pretty much."

"Tell me then, I'm all ears."

"Okay...Ehem. Jas, it's been rather long since we knew each other huh? We've been together since we were
basically kids until today, where we are almost adults."

"Yeah. It's been long Jake."

"You do remember when we both confessed don't you? It was on the 22nd of October. It was the sweetest phone call I've ever received."

"I think I do. Yeah."

"But we kinda broke up around....2 years later after that."

"......."

"You said, you'll give me a chance right? And I said I'll wait."

"......em."

"I waited, but where's my chance Jas?"

"......"

"After all those poems, after all those songs, all those phone calls.....where is my chance?"

"I-----"

"No, you need not explain. You have the right not to. But answer me this Jas."

"Yeah?"

"Do you still love me?"

"............................."

It was an eternity of a moment. The moment of a lifetime. A moment of truth. Jasmine's eyes looked uncertain, she didn't know what to answer. But Jake knew exactly what it meant. The look of pity and guilt. The look he didn't want to see.....

"I guessed so."

"But I-"

"No, I understand.

Thanks for the memories,

thanks for the five years.

We can stay.......friends.

Nothing more."

Jake stood up from the bench, tears rolling down his cheeks, he forced his steps away from Jasmine. The winds of the morning caressed his cheeks, as though even nature knew his pain. He walked away, speechless, full of sorrow, and not knowing if he can love again. He was broken. Once more..........

~All I needed was a little more time,
To find a way to make it in life,
It's not that I needed a round of applause,
I only hope that somehow you'd appreciate.

Oh, I've tried.
How I've tried,
Tried so hard to make you proud.

All I needed was a shoulder to cry on,
Someone to tell me it's okay.
It's not that it was hard to try to be strong,
But there were moments when I just had to breakdown.

Oh, I've cried.
How I've cried,
~Tears that you will never see.

-Tanya Chua - All I Needed. [extract]

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Then it ends by.....playing a really sad song, with the words above being read out, not sung.

So, how was it people? Is it okay or something? =D

I know it's really confusing and cheesy, but tell me what you think kay? See ya around in the next post! I gotta sleep now~ZZZZzzzz.

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Out.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

A Thought.

Hey, people. You know, nice day. The weather's nice, everyone's nice, it's fun. I went to Sungei Wang, saw pretty girls, picked up a few things and one of them is Jay Chou's kinda-old-but-new-to-me EP. I got it at a steal of RM 30, that's the sole reason I got it at first. And I kinda liked Huo Yuan Chia, so, why not? It's the DVD version by the way. =) Well, I kinda took at the MVs right after I got home. And guess what, some of the MVs really was good. And especially the love ones, it really kinda stimulated my heart. It made me feel. Heh. So emo. And well, half way through, I got a thought about a story. A love story. It's kind of a mix of my feelings and also half the MVs I saw. It's about a couple, and I even got the plot out in my head. Hehe. Tell you what, I didn't write it anyway, so, whatabout I write it here? Sounds fine? Great. Here goes.

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Of all the couples in the world, there is one that will be told in this story. Of all the couples who're public, this couple is not. They were the most inconspicous couple in the world. Nobody in the whole wide world knew they were together. Why? Because they made it so. Now, they knew each other since they were little, as in primary school 'little'. It wasn't love at first sight, it was built. They didn't even know each other in the first place. But, a great coincidence where they both end up in the same class, gave them a chance. Being in the same class, it's impossible to not interact with each other. So, one fine day, the girl, who I'll name Jasmine called the guy, who I'll name Jake. Jake didn't care about Jasmine, he didn't love her. Not yet. They talked. They liked talking to each other. But there was no love, yet. You see, Jasmine liked a guy, who was Jake's friend while Jake likes a girl, who was Jasmine's friend. Everytime they called each other, they would talk about helping each other out in getting that particular someone. They were glad that there was help.

Then one day, during another usual phone call from Jasmine, they talked about love. Jasmine said, she didn't really like Jake's friend. She said it was maybe just infatuation and perhaps, a little peer pressure. Jake heard that and he, at that moment, said to her that it's okay, there's plenty of guys out there anyway. And then Jake told Jasmine, that he feels that he can't capture Jasmine's friend's heart anymore. They were too far a world apart. And what's more, Jake's crush is his senior now. She was intelligent, so she joined the express class, where they advance a year ahead. Jake, being a man of honor, didn't want his girlfriend to be ahead of him. So, with pain and agony, he tried to forget her. Mind you, Jake has not developed feelings for Jasmine. So, during this period of heartbreak, Jasmine was always by Jake's side. She kept calling him and comforted him. Jake got through the period of pain with her care. Jake was grateful. There was a FRIEND he could count on. Jake never thought of love for Jasmine. That'll all change in a twist of fate.

So, now, Jake and Jasmine are both crushless, and loveless. They continued to call each other. And on a fateful day, the day of graduation from primary school, Jasmine called Jake. They both got great results. Jake was especially happy. He worked hard for it, and Jasmine talked with him about it. This is the phone call.....

"Hey Jake, how're you feeling now that you're guaranteed a place in middle school!"

"I feel great Jas, I feel like I'm at the top of the world! Woo!"

"[Giggle] I know Jake, I feel so too."

"Of course! Congrats to you too then!"

"Thank Jake. You know, I hope we get into the same class next year."

"Hmm, me too Jas, me too. I couldn't live without a friend like you eh?"

"Really?"

"Aww, of course Jas! We're FRIENDS! Of course I can't live without a friend like you!"

"Heh, oh yeah. Then you're my friend too I guess."

"Hey, thanks. Hee."

"No problems. By the way, how's life without her?"

"Oh....that....erm, I guess I'm alright."

"Do you like anyone else then? I'm sure there's another girl."

"[Jokingly] Oh, of course there is. There's you. I......kinda like you now, Jas."

"What?..........Er, really?"

"[Still Joking] Yes......I just discovered that quite a while ago. I just suddenly felt it."

"[Silence]"

At this moment, Jake thought of pranking Jasmine. Jake was always the playful one. He was just thinking of pulling another prank because frankly, he really took Jasmine as only a friend.

"So....Jas? I told you who I like, are you going to tell me yours then?"

"I....I.......hm. Tell you what, I'll give you the answer in two days Jake. Can you wait?"

"Err.....of course. No problems. I have time."

"Okay.......should we hang up now? I need time to think."

"Oh, right. Err...yeah, okay. I'll be waiting for your call then Jas."

"Okay. Er...bye Jake."

"Bye Jas."

Jake didn't do something he thought he'll do. Stop the joke. He let it go on. During those two days, he really felt guilty but eventually forgot about it. He was still a kid anyway. Then the day came. The phone rang. At this moment, his heart sank. He didn't want to know the answer. He was scared that maybe she would say it's not him she likes. He kinda wished she would say it was him now. Jake was spinning in his head. Then he breathed hard and took up the phone.

"Hello, may I speak to Jake please?"

"Err, Jas?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"So......what's up?"

"You remember what I said the day before tomorrow right?"

"Er.....yeah."

"I've thought of who I like Jake."

"Erm, who is it then?"

"[Long Silence...] You. I like you Jake."

"[chokes slightly] What? Ehehhe, really?"

"Yeah. I really do."

"[Laughs nervously]"

"How do you feel now Jake?"

"I feel happy Jas. I think I just found love."

From that stupid prank he pulled, he fell for her. He then started to realise the things she has done for him. It was alot. Then he realised, she was the one who has been with him through all the bad things and the good things, especially the heartbreak. He suddenly realised that, Jasmine have not treated him as just a friend. She loved him. That's what he thought. It was nigh time that he payed her love back. With even more love. That's what Jake thought. It was the start of a very long relationship, which will then end with uncertainty.

Jake then only has Jasmine in his heart. He started appreciating the phone calls. Each lasted at least an hour. They were happy. But the Jasmine didn't want it public. Jake understands and he complies. "Let love be between us only. No one needs to know our love. As long as we know, that is enough for me." Jake said to her. And so, together they were, spiritually, mentally, but never physically. They needed to keep it a secret. Because if it blows, it'll spell trouble for the both of them, especially their parents. So, it went on. They kept their phone calls but they never went out or held each other's hands ever. They only see it through each other's eyes. They understood each other's minds, no words needed.

Jake was very serious in this relationship, he wanted it to go on, even to marriage. He felt Jasmine was his other half that found him. He didn't want it to end. Everytime Jasmine was sick, he was worried sick, everytime Jasmine didn't call, he would pray she's okay, everytime Jasmine went for vacation, he was love sick. He just wasn't complete without her. He wrote poems for her, sang songs for her, thought about her, dreamt about her, never stopped hoping they would one day be a true couple. But he knew that day was far and he dreaded he would not be able to wait till that day. Then Jasmine called one day, it was then already at least 2 years after they binded, she wanted to say something.

"Hello, Jake?"

"Hey Jas. I've missed you."

"I know Jake, me too. But..... I need to tell you something today."

"Huh? Er....what can that be?"

"Jake, I think we can't be together anymore."

"Wha? Why??"

"I think it's not right. Er...I think I don't really like you."

"What? But! What do you mean??"

"I think I just....erm, think of you as a brother."

"Hah......haha, right....hahah, brother. Jasmine, tell me what's REALLY going on...."

"I..........don' t think i'm ready for this kind of thing."

"But....two years ago..."

"I know, it must've been a rash action."

"Right......but, but, you're just scared your parents will find out right?"

"Sort of......"

"Oh. Hey, that's okay. I....I....erm......I'll not make it so obvious kay?"

"But er.....we can't be a couple now either. It's my choice. It'll affect my studies."

"Hmm.....I see......Erm....I guess..."

"So.....don't be sad okay?"

"No wait, is there any chance left for us to be together?"

"I don't know........maybe after middle school ends?"

"What? That's like another 4 years."

"Yeah. It's a long time."

"I don't care Jas, I love you and I always will. I'll wait. For you, I'll wait."

"Huh? What? You really will?"

"Yes."

"Okay....it's up to you then."

"We'll still be friends right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"That's good. Well, I don't think I can continue this conversation anymore, Jas. Remember, I'm waiting. Tell me when you're ready to accept me again. I'll be here, always. Bye Jas. [hangs up]"

"Jake....."

Jake was heartbroken to the very edge. He didn't know what to think. But deep in his heart, he knows he'll always love her and eventhough they're not officially together, he'll still always treat her as though they were. At the other side of the phone, Jasmine was looking at the night sky, wondering about how Jake was doing, she felt half guilty but she had to say those things to Jake. She couldn't risk letting her parents knowing about this. Jake was crushed though, he just wanted to hear her voice once more......as the girl he loved.

This situation went on for another 3 years. They 'broke up' during that phone call but still remained friends till this day. In the interval of three years, there were less phone calls and everytime Jake gets one, he is elated. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. But then lately, she hasn't been paying him mind. She was indirectly keeping away from him. She didn't answer his phone calls, and even didn't find the time to talk to him at school. He was heartbroken once more. what happened to the chance she promised him? Why wasn't she showing him any sign of affection? She was the one who started this mess and she is now running away from it. He felt angry but he still feels love for her. His mind is killing him with thoughts. He couldn't take it anymore. Does she even have feelings for me anymore? Does she even remember her promise? He waited for 3 years already. It was almost 4. The time he had to wait was too much.

During that time, he restrained himself from involving himself in another relationship. He always kept in mind that the one he loves is Jasmine and she is waiting for him at the end of the road. He pulled through all those years with this plain reason. So, one day, when he couldn't wait anymore, his soul cried for love. He was deprived of it these many years. He couldn't live on like this anymore. After all these years of telling himself that she still loves him, today, he doubts that fact. He decides to find the answer himself. He decides to end this once and for all. He would find her, and ask her. He put aside his fears of rejection and decided strongly that he will indeed ask her.......if she still loves him.

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So, get the story? Let me tell you what's going on so far, in case you don't get what the hell's going on. You see, since primary school, let's take, standard 6. The fateful phone call happens. He tells her he likes him and they go on. 2 years later, during form 2? yeah, she tells him the cold hard truth. He still believes that there was love between them and that she still like him as he still likes her. But towards the end of the 5th year, he couldn't take it anymore. The love he thought he had might actually be gone 3 years ago. Maybe she already forgot about him 3 years ago but really just, continued to be friends. Nothing more. The thoughts of these things scared Jake. So he decided to end the fear once and for all, and prepares to take whatever truth that comes at him when he asks Jasmine whether she still loves him.

The part where he asks her, I have to post in the next one. This post is getting to long and it's lagging all over. Sorry. Heheh. So, next post people!

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>To Be Continued.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Freedom At Long Last.

Hello. I'm bored. Really. Bored. I'm so bored, I'm blogging out my boredom. Hm. Maybe I'm just tired. But heck, I'm gonna post something, somehow anyway.

Well, let's start with the most basic. Today, is the end of the exams, weee. Ehem. Well, it's supposed to be a big deal right? Yes, but somehow, today, I don't feel the hype. This is one exam I don't care if it ended. Hmm, bizarre. It is still a little relaxing. Perhaps. Coz I don't need to touch that thick pieces of information material called books for the meantime. I could just, lay back and..................hm. See? That's the problem. There is nothing to do. Sigh sigh sigh. Hopefully things get better tomorrow. Right. >.<>Shiang Leit< ------------ [Tze Huei]+[Melanie] ------------>Ivan

[+] = married.

[------>] = affair.

So you dig? It’s damn corrupt. Then eventually, the musketeers are elected. They never knew that the government was corrupt, so when the entered the service of the government, they thought they could work together with the royal family and FIGHT EVIL. How wrong. The more they try to promote justice, the more the government hates them. So they get thrown into jail. There, the prison warden, Sherry, helps them out. The blacksmith and cavalry keeper provide them with weapons and horses, and they storm the castle with THE FORCE WITH THEM. *wwhhrrnngg*

So they fight massively. King and Queen are killed. And just as Wei Yan is about to kill Zhi Li, he says, “I AM YOUR FATHER”. HUAAAAHHHH. JENG JENG JENG. Turns out that Wei Yan is the product of an affair that happened between Zhi Li and Jia Ven, who was once the royal handmaiden. But after she got pregnant, Zhi Li fired her, so she ended up taking care of horses. SADNESS.

Then the chief of military and police, Ivan and Tze Huei, burst in. They had allied with Jamaica to invade France. NOOOO!!! MASSIVE WAR!!!! *cheng cheng cheng phew phew phew wwweehhhhhhhhhhrrrooommmmmmm shoooowww shoooow shooowwww wrrrnnnngggg use the Force, and fight we must*. The musketeers begin to falter, for the DARK SIDE is too strong. Oh Wei Yan, look out for that SWORD!! Daddy sees the sword. Daddy jumps in front of his baby girl to save her life. *awww you go daddy!* Daddy DIES. Wei Yan gets so MAD and SAD she kills ALL the Jamaicans.

In the end, the 3 musketeers take over France. Mabel marries Leonard, the only royal family member who repents and changes and their offspring will eventually rule France. Melanie and Shiang Liet are in prison. Jocelyn and Wei Yan become the advisors. Jia Ven is re-elected as royal handmaiden. Kar Mun and Sherry are given muchas muchas diamonds and money and lotsa stuff and they live happily ever after in the palace.

THE END.

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Understood it? Don't worry, you're not the only one. ; )

Well, that's just the rough sketch, we don't even know what the hell we're gonna say. To me now, it's like a montage of weird scenes. Well, we'll see how the editing goes. Hopefully it's funny and enjoyable. Right.

One more thing! Name cards~ We're finally getting it. Ivan done the designing and everything, so, it's all done. And we're gonna get it soon an stuff. I'll show it to ya when I get the chance ya? Well, for now, I gotta run, damn tired. I wanna spend some quality time with my pillows. So, till next post people.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>Out.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Life's Troubles.

Hey, it's been a while since I've updated, but well, here I am sitting on this chair, in front of my comp, with nobody else at home.......alone. I just finished what I needed to do and I thought it was just right that I blogged.

About what I'm gonna blog, well, it's a general topic but based on my experiences. It's like a monologue or perhaps a philosophy or somewhat. Oh well, whatever. What's it about again? Yeah, life's troubles and screw ups. But what I really want to say is what makes life seem wrong at times. Makes me think, am I living in a dream or something, a la The Matrix. Well, here goes.

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Actually, why this topic came to mind is because, my life has been pretty wierd lately. Everything seems to be turning weirder and weirder. Not too bad but yeah, there's some pretty notable bad things. Firstly, let's see.....ah yes, family. Don't get me wrong, there's no family quarrels or what but for quite some time now, I've seen my uncles and aunts cry. There has been something that's been going on and I don't find it comfortable to tell you here. But you can discard the thought of scrutiny, betrayal and illoyalty. There's nothing wrong with the relationship. It's something more.....unexpected after so long. It kinda struck me as a surprise and well, it struck my uncles and aunts pretty much too. Gah, let's not talk about it then. It's not fun to think about.

Secondly, what? School? Hmm. Perhaps. Let's see what's wrong with school. Ah! Yes! I remember now. Lately, I've been pretty slacking for school. As in, I don't really feel like going to school. Don't really feel like studying. There's no push. All the crap Pn.Chong gives us, all the rules they bind us with, all the stupid fines. Not only that, some of teachers are lame. Very lame. Plus, tons of homework and assignments. Where the hell do we get the time to fit that all in schedule along with revision? God knows. All in all, there's just no flair in this schooling thing so far. Everything's so political and so....corrupted. Not mentioning the tediousness and vainness. Where has the fun gone to? Has it left school to settle at somewhere else? Where's the interest? Has it also left me alone? Only time can tell.

Then, comes the last thing I would like to mention. Love life. It's been so dull. So very very dull. The one has been out of touch for at least 3 weeks. I feel discouraged, I feel put aside, I feel lonely. There's no one to tell how you feel to. There's no one to smile to with love. There's no one to truly understand how I'm feeling. There's just an empty space in my heart. And lately, there's been alot of sparks here and there, and my heart tempting me to light that spark and let it brighten up my path. Of course, I've been thinking of falling to temptation. Thinking of letting go. Thinking of holding another's hands, looking at another's eyes, telling another that I love her. Time after time I've been tempted to do so. Countless times I've resisted. It's hard to do. I'm sure you know how it is. For example, there are gold all over the place, waiting for me to pick them up. But I have a piece of rock that I somehow think that will turn into diamond someday. Carrying that rock in my heart, I walk the road paved with gold and jewels that shine at me with glee. You know that feeling? That feeling of wanting to put down that piece of rock and picking up those pieces of gold. But you know what? Me, being so loyal out of god-knows-what reason. I hold on to that rock. On what circumstances? Because I've placed that rock in my heart since long ago. And I still believe that rock will turn into a piece of diamond someday. And while that rock remained in my heart, I have seen the beauty of the jewels and gold around me. I've considered to let go of my rock and thought, why not pick up the piece of jewel? By the way, that piece of rock might not be a piece of diamond anyway. For all you know, it might just turn into dust one fine day, leaving not a trace of diamond, nor gold. I'll be left with nothing. I'll then be without gold nor jewels either, because everyone else has already picked them up, while I held on to that rock. I really don't know what to do. It's like gambling. And I hate to lose. I do not know to either trust faith or trust reality. My mind's in a whirlpool of thoughts. Help me.


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And so, I've told the troubles of my life. Main problem? <3>
It's really irritating ya know. Being so indecisive. Being afraid that if I do this, that will happen and if I do that, this will happen. It's all a total breakdown. Should I let her go and go for another? Or shoul I hold on to that piece of rock? You tell me. But really,

"All I Needed Was A Girl Who'll Be There For Me"

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Out. [Lost In Thought]

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Life Without The Net.

Is hell.

It's no fun at all. NO FUN AT ALL, I TELL YOU!!

Ehem* Right. I am very very very very happy to be back and yes, I will tell you how I suffered these few days without what we usually take for granted, the internet.

Okay, let's then backtrack all the way to last Saturday. I'll try to make long story short on this one. Remember Saturday was the day when we were supposed to set up the chairs and tables for the upcoming Carnival Day? Yeah, that Saturday. Didn't really had a good time setting up the bloody tables, and I sure did alot of swearing on Pn.Viani that day for not giving me the tables I needed. And then, went for Interact meeting, but gotta scram early because I was going to Sungei Wang. Okay, when I reached home, that's when the whole conspiracy comes into place.

The first thing I saw was my big bro. He was playing my Nintendo. It didn't really strike me that very moment as strange because I was in a hurry to bathe and everything, plus, he likes to play with it anyways. So, everything was smooth, he was acting as if nothing happened, and so we went to Sungei Wang and back, happy and all. Well, he didn't come home with me, he had to go somewhere else. It was okay I guess coz he's always out anyway. So, what do I do when I get home? I on the computer. I on the modem. I sit on chair. Then I realized.

Realized what? Realized that shit happened. The first thing was, the modem lights. Only the power light was on. Where is the USB light and the DSL light???? They're off! Wait. Let me try going online. Shit. Shit DID happen. I couldn't get online. It was a total breakdown of my conscious. I was like banging here, banging there, pressing this, pressing that, just trying to make the modem work. But no. It's not working. I sweared. Loudly.

What's more? I've to spend the rest of the day alone. That means I gotta find dinner alone too. Well, the rest, is just too torturing to be told again. So, what I knew then was, the reason my bro is playing with my Nintendo is because the modem's busted, and he couldn't get online. Why didn't I realize at all?? Usually on Saturdays, he plays his online game, never touching MY stuff.... It was total contradiction. And when I sounded him on the phone, oh man, I swore I smelt his fear.

And so, begins my pain. 6 days of no internet. Total social breakdown. I started acting weird in school and shit like that. And the worst of all, I couldn't send documents. You don't know how inconvinient that can be. Well, it all adds up to total crap. I can't get info, I can't get this, I can't get that, and that doesn't make it easier for me as a secretary. It even screws up school work. Oh yeah, one more thing, can't blog. 6 days of wasted memories.

Yeah, so I lazy wanna talk about it already. It's really that crappy. I don't even want to re-think. Oh yeah, by the way, I'm gonna get my assistant tomorrow. Heh. I guess I'll intro he/she to ya'll tomorrow? Yeah, hope my assistant's a good one. Well, I'll try to blog about that tomorrow, now, I need to appreciate the sweet time online. See ya next post dudes.

Joe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Out.