Let's Look Back And Reminisce.

Hi. I'm feeling dead today. Boring Day. So I thought maybe, I should blog about what? And I've decided, love, Love has been in my life these few days, but not my love. Other people's. Their stories made me jealous and touched. Some even sparked my compassionate side. Some stories were happy and some were sad. It makes me remember my days of romance. Which I had none. I just happened to have a really long crush. 5 years. Sigh. I fall into deep vortex whenever I think of that. It makes me blue. Blue-er than the sky itself. Or the vast oceans. I'll just write a monologue of my thoughts, if you don't mind me talking to thin air. =)

"Why does love exist? Why must we love the other sex? Why is there even a spark in between us? Chemistry, fate, passion, sometimes they just don't fit. Sometimes love may just be a far cry from what we think it to be. It might be beautiful to the many lucky ones, for they are occupied by the bubble they created with the one they love. But it may not be so with the many others who just doesn't have a mate. Some are trying, trying hard to impress the one person they love. But sometimes, not all cries get replies. So, they're just frantically dancing for a queen they adore. But the queen will never fall for a mere entertainer. It is the way of life.

Or is it? Perhaps. It boggles me how the female mind works. It's like a contraption not meant to be understood. You might try to predict what it says, but it's bearly right. I've never been. Sometimes, maybe, it's just not meant to be. I've had an unchanging way of love for 5 years. But my target did not become mine, she have, however, been with many others. Just not me. It's just saddening how love is unrequitted. I've been waiting for 5 seemingly impossible years, but nothing ever came. And when it was time to scrape her out of my mine, it was almost impossible. It was like erasing ink from a paper. It'll just tear the paper. It tore me. Will I ever be the one I ought to be? Never. I'll never be the one I was anymore. I was different. Never the same.

Then there's the question. Why do we even love when the consequences are harder than stone? It's not answerable. It's just that way. No man can change it. Love is natural. Love is hate. Love is forever. It will not vanish from this earth. No it won't. It'll stay. And so we'll walk through the dusty plain of bittersweetness of love in search of the utopia which stands within the plain. Many fail to, but many have succeeded. Is there hope? Maybe? It's not my decision to make anyway. It is the girl's. There has been many girls in my life. Many I've put my love on. Close to none responded. It's disheartening to learn that you're not natural to this. To know that your heart is not what they want. There's nothing more to do but to move on. Until someone comes along.

So, where is that fabled one-half of you in the world? Ah, they may just be in the world or beside you. You have just got to feel it for yourself. I've felt a thousand of it. They've always played in my mind. But there will always be ultimately one. Not two, or three. But a special one you'll cherish so much. The one you'll walk to the end of the world for. The one you'll sacrifice your time for. The one you'll spill your blood for. The one you'll change for. The one that the world cannot separate you from. The one that you love. Have I found her? Have I gave her up? Have I even started loving her? This cannot be foretold but when the time comes, loyalty would I pledge to her. She'll be my rain, my sun, my smile, my soul, my one, my forever love. May she come closer to me day by day, month by month, year by year, lifetime by lifetime. I'll be waiting."

Ah, a truckload of crap. Lamenting about what's not mine. Inducing a symphony of destruction, pain and agony, where it's crescendo will never cease. I'm that bogged. Sigh. Let there be love. <3

Joe>>>>>>Out.