Alone.

Ohhh, this word tells alot I tell you. I've been alone the whole day. Since morning till now. And it doesn't feel right, I tell you.

I woke up at 10 today. Was quite sober, eventhough I slept at around 1 yesterday. Well, that didn't matter. So, I woke up and the first thing I noticed was.......there's no one at home. Okay, excluding my mom, dad and little brother. They were all at somewhere else two days ago already. So, that leaves my big bro. He's already out when I woke up. -_- So....it just means I have to do everything myself and alone. Yesterday wasn't like this. I woke up earlier. And I wasn't alone. Basically, I got to tag along with him and eat out. But today.......was different. Breakfast.......egg sandwiches my mom made before she left......had them....alone. Nevermind. Then I went upstairs to spend a little quality time with the comp. No one significant was online. So I was still alone.

Before I knew it, it was noon. So, that means lunch. What did I find out? My bro's not coming back yet. Here's the full story. He called actually, and asked me if I wanted to go for lunch, he and his friends can come pick me up. BUT then, he said, if I was to go.....I won't be coming back home for quite a while. I gotta hang around at his friend's house. I didn't want to. What can I even do there? Nothing. So, I said no and he said, aiyoh, then you gotta find some way.....then I said, no problems, I can find food for myself. Dooooooot. There goes the phone. And there goes my little spark of hope. Sooooooooooooo, without another thought, I knew I had to either get out there, on my bike, to ta pau food, or cook. I chose to ride my bike.

So, there I go....on my adventure to.......get food. Equipped only with my wallet and house keys, I set out through my front gate and cycled down the street. In the hot afternoon sun, it's not much of a joy ride. It was scorching, I tell you. After a torturing 5 minute ride to the shop lots of USJ 2. There I am, at my destination. It was still scorching hot. I ta pau-ed chow kuey teow and then set my home again. How convinient. =_= So then, kayuh kayuh kayuh, avoid cars, avoid cars, avoid cars, and a final stretch uphills.......there I am, infront of my house gate. It was still scorching hot.

Then, I strut my way inside, with my aching butt and legs, set up the table, grabbed a drink from the fridge and sat on the chair. Food was never this hard to get. It was like playing a game. "Go to this specific location, retrieve the object and return to base." And wow, was it rewarding? No. I was heck tired when I got back, so my chau kuey teow didn't taste spectacular too. Maybe my taste buds were tired too? Heh. There I was eating my food when I realized something very very perculiar on my plate. What was it? It was black, tiny, and fried. It was a f***ing fly. Sorry for the language, but it was that surprising. I was already three quarters finished. The most surprising thing was, I took the fly with my chopsticks, set it aside, and then continued eating. It didn't strike me until after I finished the thing. God.

What's worse than having to get food? Having to wash the utensils and plates and stuff after eating. I was still alone, so I had to wash them, along with a few containers I left unwashed yesterday. Nevermind, that was nothing. After that, went upstairs and spent quality time with my PS. Mind you, my comp was still on. So, on the PS, I was playing this game called Suikoden 5 and its storyline is superb. It's like reading a great story while deciding how the main character will act. Cool stuff. After seeing treason, friendship, deaths of family members and hatred, I realized it was 5 something already, almost 6. Damn. My comp was still on, I was downloading a soundtrack. The thing is.......I'm still alone.

I decided to take a break at that point. I went down, munched a couple of sandwiches, freshen up and I sat in the living room.....alone. I turned on the TV, watched a crazy taiwanese show on AEC while folding the clothes I brought in this morning. It was 6 something after I finished all that. Then I realized that I stink and decided to take a bath. Took my time......and when I was done, it was already getting dark outside. The house was gloomy and I need not tell you what was going through my mind. It was 7 when I decided to call my bro about when is he eating. I was thinking of tagging along so I wouldn't need to go through that trouble of getting food myself again. And after all, it's already dark. Riding my bike out would mean inviting a car to crash into you. So, I called him and asked him that question. He said that when he is leaving to come and get me, he'll miss call me. Okay, sure, why not?

It was 8.30. I was watching F1 out of bore. And I was already all sleepy waiting for that one miss call. Suddenly, my phone rings! Wa-la! I'm saved! He's coming! After around 3 minutes, that's enough time for me to change into more decent clothing, grab the stuff I need and off the telly..........he calls. This time it's not a miss call. I answered it and I said..."Yeah?" And he said, "Hey, we don't have enough space in the car for you, can I ta pau for you?" he sounded very guilty. I said "Nah, I'll get my own food.". He said "I'm sorry ya....". I said "Nevermind." and then hung up. Hiding all the frustration and anger behind my cool tone, I sighed. How am I supposed to get food now? It's hell dark and there's now way I'm gonna cycle my way out there in this darkness. There was only one option. Cook.

I placed all the things I put in my pocket out again and walked into the kitchen. What was I cooking? What else? Maggi Mee Goreng. So the process begins, take the pot, fill with water, heat till boil, put in mee, ready the seasoning on plate, wait until mee cooks, put meeon plate, stir until the seasoning is evened out among the mee, eat. It's easier said than done. But I've never tasted maggi mee this good. It was an unexplainable joy. Then I took the plate of mee out to the living room and watched F1 while eating. I was alone. After eating, there was hell of alot of stuff to clean, including the pots. Sigh, done 'em and watched F1 till it ended. At least I was already full, I thought. It was already 10 when F1 ended, so I went upstairs and sat here, infront of the computer, blogging.

Even now, at 11, (I've been bloggin for an hour now), I'm still alone. It's not a nice feeling. Nobody significant is online and I'm about to end this post. Basically, my day has been a simulation of what life has in hold for me. Life out there.....alone. I don't like the looks of it. Well, I gotta be ready for it somehow. No one's gonna help me with this. I've just ate all of my meals alone, all of the food are produced of my own effort and all the cleaning up was of my own effort too. Wow. And one more thing, the silence is no fun. It makes you imagine things, ya hear? Phew.....better not start seeing things. XD

Heh, at least I've still got my sense of humour. Seriously, I need to get out somehow tomorrow. I refuse to stay confined. Damn. And, I can't believe you just read all of this, (if you really did), but thanks anyway for giving a damn about how my life is. Thanks there. Ooops, almost forgot, gotta thank my friend, Su Yi, for saying the best thing today to me. She actually ALREADY bought my present for my birthday. How freakin' sweet is that? Thanks alot Su Yi! You just made my day! Well, I guess I'll see ya in the next post. And I hope I won't be alone on that post. Till then, keep your friends and family close...=)

Joe>>>>>>>>>>Out. [Birthday on 16/6]